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  • The Cave and the Colonel

    (by David Craig, from IMC Newsletter, Spring 2007)
    "Sitting there, with one arse cheek on a ledge, my knees wedged under my chin, and my head lolling on the wall in front of me, listening to the sea booming away in the darkness, the scary truth dawned on me… we were NEVER going to live this down!"


    With the two of us crouched on a belay ledge perched in the rafters of a sea cave in Pembroke, watching the water below lose the last of its light as it faded from a dark purple to merge with the blackness of the rest of the cave, the thought crossed my mind “isn’t this supposed to be a holiday”. Holidays have become an odd thing for me, not the holidays themselves, but trying to explain to work colleagues and other non-climber friends why one would rather spend a week struggling up crags and hills in wet and windy Wales rather then relaxing on sunny beaches in the Med.

    This holiday was to prove no different. It started with a leisurely cruise from Rosslare to Pembroke, where we stocked up on supplies, had a bit of lunch and pondered our next move. This being a Thursday, and June, didn’t leave us much choice as a lot of the crags in the area have restrictions for climbers until late July, so they don’t disturb nesting birds, and mid week the army like to blow the be-Jaysus out of them since they are located in a military firing range. How you justify having these two things in the same place I’m not sure, but that’s how they do it. Eventually we settled on a route we thought wouldn’t give too much trouble, as a way of easing into things. There were no bird restrictions and the army would be finished firing by the time we got there, it was perfect. “Sure wouldn’t that be a grand, nice soft one to start with” we said, a quick, slightly rising traverse across the bottom of the crag to a cave, back into this, and then up and out a blow hole – “what fun”.

    These being sea cliffs you arrive at them from the top, abseil into your route and climb back out. Finding said route was to prove difficult and time-consuming though, as it can’t be seen from the top. I think the phrase in the guide book for locating it was something like “from the westerly end of the crag look back eastwards and you can see a large cave” not our cave now but it means you’re at the abseil point. Not a mention of just how many crags with caves there actually are on the Pembroke coast. This led to a lot of to-ing and fro-ing atop the cliffs in the hopes of spying a crag similar to the one we should be at. Once it was located, finding its westerly end was much easier as the sun at this stage was kindly setting so as to indicate west for us. Undeterred, because we new we’d be quick, we set off with only a brief thought about the head torches we didn’t have. After spending ages on the traverse along the bottom, I found myself bridging back along the apex of the cave groping for holds in the dark. A voice came from behind me saying “maybe we shouldn’t be doing this in the dark, maybe you should come back”. I considered this and came to the conclusion that even if I make it to the next belay it’ll be pitch black for Síle to come out and then there would still be another pitch to do, or to put it another way, was bricking myself and willing to accept any excuse to go back to the safety of the belay. Forward wasn’t going to happen so Síle tried to get us back out, but at this stage it was well and truly dark outside the cave as well, so that was that, we were benighted, FEK!!

     Uncomfortable as it was we had managed to organise a decent belay and the sea was fairly calm despite the noise echoing around the cave, but no sleep was had which made for a long night. When it eventually started to brighten a quick foray was made into the cave, which showed it to be still quite dark and now wet and slippery to boot. Síle led us back out the way we had come which was also wet but at least there was daylight. After that an easy pitch should then have brought us back to safety, but on topping out the crackle of rifle fire let us know we had been out-flanked by the British army.

    It didn’t take long for our presence to be noticed and the gate watchman to come careering out after us in his little white van, although he seemed more worried about the humor of the Colonel than about anyone getting shot or having spent the night in a cave. A lift back was offered and declined, and he rushed off to try to placate the Colonel. We gathered our gear and started sheepishly walking out, only to be met by a second vehicle, this one much fancier then the last, and out popped the much-feared Colonel. With the only thing more starched than his uniform being his upper lip. He launched his offensive “Spoilt the show you did, had to stop firing, still everyone’s all right, happy ending and all that, you’ll take a lift back?” My jaw dropped, only to clamp shut again as my teeth took a firm grip of my tongue as a surprised laugh tried to escape, we braced ourselves for the follow-up manoeuvre “not as bad as last week though, chap walked in front of the snipers, caused mayhem! Blighter!” He did, however, make it clear this lift wasn’t to be refused, so we jumped in as he ran off to investigate the remains of a caterpillar track on the cliff top, don’t ask me why. Leather seats though, it pays to be Colonel. A peculiar thing, sitting in the back of that truck as Síle related the story of our ordeal and the Colonel blathered on trying his best to be formidable, pondering the past 12 hours or so I found myself suppressing an overwhelming urge to sing … ’Who Do You Think You Are Kidding, Mr. Hitler?’

  • The Bob Graham 42

    (by Denis Rankin, from the IMC Journal 1984-85)
    An account of the first Northern Irish attempt on the Bob Graham Round.
    Jim Patterson and Denis Rankin were the 130th and 131st recorded rounds and they were completed in 23 hours 10 minutes and 23 hours 22 minutes respectively.


    It was a relief when nine o’clock in the morning finally arrived and the long cavalcade of Dark Peak Fell Runners jogged out of Keswick and South-West onto the delightful lakeland lanes that lead to the Derwent Fells. I immediately felt uncomfortable and ‘breathy’ and began to doubt the wisdom of my policy of maximum relaxation and ‘tapering off’ in the period leading up to such a serious undertaking. Jim Patterson and myself were delighted that the Dark Peak should give us the opportunity of joining their attempt on the traditional circuit of 42 Lake District peaks in 24 hours and we were soon to appreciate the excellence of their Organisation.

    I began to feel better as soon as we hit the fells and started clambering up the slopes of Robinson, peak number 1, in hot pursuit of Ros Coates on her way to the ladies record. At this stage, it was difficult to differentiate between the real triers and the pacemakers: I think there were twelve of us with serious intentions, of whom six finally made it. From Robinson, we jogged round to Hindscarth, and the descent to Dale Head was ecstasy.

    We were five minutes down at Honister which is the end of the first section and I spent all of the ten minutes resting time changing my footwear from ripples into my clapped out Nikes, which was to prove a very good move. Then we were off, with Martin Hudson taking over as pacer. The party went southwards over Grey Knotts, Brandreth and Green Gable to Great Gable but began to split up on the screes descending from the latter. Jim and I became most anxious as we waited on Kirkfell for the stragglers to catch up but contented ourselves with the fact that timekeeping was the pacer’s responsibility. In the circumstances, they had a difficult job trying to keep the party together while still sticking to the schedule. Ascending Pillar, Martin Hudson and the stronger runners amongst us threatened to break away. The traverse to Steeple, Scoat Fell and the descent from Red Pike was one of the most enjoyable stretches of the whole day with the sun threatening to break through. Tearing down the screes of Yewbarrow, I felt sufficiently relaxed to request JP to pose for an all action camera shot of scree-running.

    We breezed into Wasdale campsite fifteen minutes up on schedule but with six hours and only twelve peaks behind us, there was no cause for optimism and we were eager to take only the statutory fifteen minutes rest. We took some sustenance in the company of the many Dark Peak supporters that had gathered.

    Half an hour later, we were toiling up the long ascent to Scafell with the same pacers: a solid hour’s grind. A rope was in position for the difficult step on Broad Stand and I was at first reluctant to have recourse to such an unethical aid. After the top of Scafell Pikes there is a long, mostly level section which provided a really enjoyable run over the roof of England; Broad and Ill Crag, Great End, Esk Pike to Bowfell. A diagonal descending traverse took us through the cliffs of Bowfell and westward. After Rossett Pike, the party began to show visible signs of weariness. A breather was taken at a stream and in between the two Langdale Pikes, Martin Hudson was seen to ply himself with secret goodies taken from his rucsac. He had been suffering from a stomach upset and diarrhoea and was in a visibly weakened condition. It is to his credit that he struggled on to complete the pacing of two of the most strenuous sections in the scheduled time. Towards the end of this section, Jim and myself, paced by Andy Collinson, broke away and covered the miles to Calf Crag and Steel Fell, which involves much downhill running, at a steady gallop. And so to Dunmail, halfway along the main Keswick to Ambleside road, eight minutes up on schedule, twelve hours after setting out from Keswick.

    Here Martin Stone had the burners going in the back of a minivan and a feast of carbohydrates was awaiting us; hot creamed rice with apricots washed down with mugs of tea. Much of my own carefully prepared fruit, nuts and home-made cake which was waiting for me at all the resting stations was completely superfluous.

    The pacing role was now assumed by Mike Hayes and he was already charging up Seat Sandal when I was shoeless: a change into studs proved a mistake, because, while they are suitable for grassy terrain, they tend to be uncomfortable over the longer distance. By the top of Fairfield it was pitch dark and on the descent, a battery of torch lights revealed many Bob Graham attempts to be in the vicinity. This was to be the most testing section of the whole round and with mist constantly shrouding the tops, there could be no latitude for navigational error.

    In this respect, we were fortunate to have the services of Mike Hayes whose compass work and ability to keep the party together as one by one we all went through bad patches, was first class. The attempt had now been reduced to six bodies who finally completed the round, including Jim and myself. The descent from the last top of this section, Clough Head, was tedious and the route finding was confused by the lights on the valley floor below, but we managed to stumble into the feeding station at Threlkeld at twenty past three.

    Once again we were plied with all sorts of appetising goodies, and I managed to pull a fast one over Jim by locating a supply of apple tarts which had escaped his attention. The Organisation continued to excel and even those who had been forced to drop out of the attempt earlier on were there to support us and boost our confidence for one more section. My Nikes had been mislaid overnight and I had hardly time to realise my predicament before an almost brand new pair of the right size appeared before my eyes – a further indication of the tremendous team spirit which underlay the hole occasion.

    On the final loop, north of Keswick, the ascent of Blencathra took a good hour in the brightening dawn, most of us grinding up the zig- zags in our own good time. On the far side of Blencathra the never- ending Mungrisdale Common required constant attention to the compass. This section was completely out of character with the rest of the Lakes: deep heather and long grass reminded one of the calf tearing Irish moors. After Great Calva the party became really spread out, Jim Patterson went storming on ahead going up Skiddaw and, in an attempt to hold the arty together I placed myself, judiciously I thought, between him and those behind. I gritted my teeth and tried to keep him in sight, but he soon disappeared into the mist and I found myself alone near the summit of Skiddaw.

    As a result of the mix-up at the Threlkeld feeding station I did not have any map with me. I felt completely lost in an area unfamiliar to me and, realising that time was slipping by, I nearly panicked. I turned right at a fence but this lost me height so I retraced my steps. Fortunately I made contact again with a pacer who had been despatched to look for me and we were soon at the top of Skiddaw, albeit half an hour behind schedule. I set off down the tourist track in hot pursuit of the others. In Keswick I asked the first Sunday morning pedestrian I came across for the way to the town centre. The schedule had allowed an hours leeway so, although down on schedule, I touched the Moot Hall thirty eight minutes inside the alloted twenty four hours.

    There were many people gathered there including pacers for the double Bob Graham attempt which was about to complete another section. In time, we were offered a lift back to our campsite at Threlkeld, and without making any conscious attempt to do so, we nibbled and dosed off in our bags and remained there for much of the day.

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